After a brief pause

Hola amores. My sincerest apologies for not writing sooner. I know it’s been a while, so I hope you’ll bear with me while I explain a few things that have been happening. May was a very difficult month for me. On the 13th, my grandfather, John Stevens Ramsey, passed away. My grandpa was one of my biggest supporters, especially when it came to my writing pursuits, and until now, I haven’t been able to handle writing a blog post that I know he’ll never read. I’m going to take a moment to speak about him, and why I loved him so much, and then I’ll get back to the regularly scheduled Peru updates. 

When I first found out I was going to Peru, the last thing on my mind was starting a blog. In fact, it only really sprang into my mind in January, right before I was supposed to leave. It was my grandfather who suggested I write a blog, knowing how much I loved writing. And it was my grandpa, of course, who became my main reason for posting on my blog, as a way of staying connected with him. It had been dawning on me for weeks before leaving that I wouldn’t be able to return home for a full year, and that I definitely wouldn’t be able to see any of the family I have spread across the East coast. I spent the months before leaving taking various road trips to visit people, and the very first place I went to, of course, was Buffalo, New York, where my grandparents live. (Having made both drives, I can say with confidence that Oxapampa is only slightly more difficult to reach than Buffalo, especially in the winter.) I spent a glorious few days alone with my grandparents in one of my favorites place in the world, and I am so grateful for that trip. My grandfather was an English professor, and it was him above all others who encouraged my relentless reading and appreciation for the written word. I have a core memory of him giving me the 4th Percy Jackson book for my twelfth birthday, and of me ripping open the present and reading the book right there at their kitchen table, not moving until I had finished it. My grandfather was dignified, stoic, and stubborn, but he was also witty, intelligent, loving, and possessed a sense of humor that always surprised me but never failed to delight me. He loved the Yankees, NPR, and Shakespeare, and he hated Donald Trump and anyone messing around in his kitchen. My past few visits, he would print out New York Times articles or leave out the crossword for me for when I finally came down for breakfast. He had his own ways of showing his love and affection, and I miss them all. When I started writing this blog, he was my biggest fan. You can go over some of the past posts and see his comments, which were brief, but meant the world to me. When he didn't comment, he'd send me a private message or a text, always encouraging me to continue my work. His approval of my writing was more important than if a thousand commissions awarded me a thousand prizes for it. When I wasn’t writing, I would go on long walks on deserted dirt roads, calling my grandparents, asking their advice on everything from my poetry club to TV show recommendations. Typing these words without him is something I’ve been avoiding for a month, but ultimately, I know he’d want me to keep writing, and keep sharing my experiences. It doesn’t mean I won’t miss him with every word, however. Grandpa, I love you, and I wish I could have been there to say goodbye. 

Losing a close family member when you’re alone in a foreign country is something I wouldn’t wish for anyone to experience, but I’m so grateful for my friends here who were incredibly understanding and kind– Aiden most of all. It was a bit of a hectic month for all of us: after finding out my sad news, Aiden fell sick, and then I faced some interpersonal drama at work because of an underhanded coworker, and then the next week, half of our students were sent to the hospital after having severe allergic reactions to a cleaning agent used in their dorms. Then, just when we thought we’d get a reprieve, Aiden fell ill again, this time with dysentery, of all things. So I’m very happy to be done with May, and so far, June has been calamity-free, so I’m hoping it stays that way. Even though it’s only been a few weeks, I have a few posts coming up that I’m excited about, so stay tuned! 

Much love, 

Chels